Barista Life’s Top 117 Coffee Quotes

Barista Life’s Top 117 Coffee Quotes

117 Coffee Quotes

The world loves two things: coffee and quotes. Barista Life put together the best coffee quotes ever. The best, funniest and most clever quotes about coffee are…

1. Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.

– Alphonse Allais

2. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.

– T.S. Eliot

3. Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after

– Anne Morrow Lindbergh

4. Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever

– David Letterman

5. I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon

– Ronald Regan

6. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee

– Abraham Lincoln

7. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems

– Alfred Renyi

8. He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.

He was my cream, and I was his coffee - And when you poured us together, it was something

– Josephine Baker

9. Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries

– Bill Cosby

10. Humanity runs on coffee.

Humanity runs on coffee

– Unknown

11. I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ’Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.’

Because you can lose it.’ Jim Carrey

– Jim Carrey

12. A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table – There’s nothing wrong with them, but it’s hard to stop thinking about it.

– Garrison Keillor

13. Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.

– Edward Abbey

14. Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

– Dave Barry

15. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard.

– Anne Spencer

16. Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

– Jean Kerr

17. Too much coffee. Too much coffee and Gatorade. It’s a hell of a mix. If you’re ever tired in the morning, just try that mix, and tell me what you think.

Kevin Garnett Quotes

– Kevin Garnett

18. A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more.

– Jayne Mansfield

19. Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!

– Gerard Way

20. I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

– Eddie Izzard

21. I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.

– Burt Lancaster

22. Tobacco, coffee, alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine, are weak dilutions. The surest poison is time.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

23. When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.

– Emo Phillips

24. Townes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I’ll stand on Bob Dylan’s coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that.

– Steve Earle

25. Kids are meeting in coffee shops and basements figuring out what’s unsustainable in their communities. That’s the future.

– Ian Somerhalder

26. I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

– Steven Wright

27. It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom.

– Jonathan Swift

28. The only time it’s acceptable to watch a barista at the bar is when you compliment their skills. “You’re so boss.”Barista Quotes

– Barista Life

29. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool

Coffee Jokes

– Barista Life

30. Coffee helps me maintain my “never killed anyone streak”

– Anonymous

31. Women aren’t supposed to make coffee…the Bible says, “He-brews”

– Anonymous

32. In dog coffees, I’ve only had one

– Anonymous

33. My birthstone is a coffee bean

– Anonymous

34. I put coffee in my coffee

– Anonymous

35. The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee

– Anonymous

36. Coffee is always a good idea

– Anonymous

37. Coffee, then adulting

– Anonymous

38. May your coffee be stronger than your toddler

– Anonymous

39. When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee

When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee

– Anonymous

40. Coffee, because crack is bad for you

– Anonymous

41. Here’s to all the people who remain unharmed because I have coffee and a sense of humor

– Anonymous

42. I’ve had so much coffee today I can see noises

– Anonymous

43. Coffee is a hug in a mug

– Anonymous

44. I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee

I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee

– Anonymous

45. Coffee, because it’s too early for wine

– Anonymous

46. If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away

– Anonymous

47. When my blood runs black as the moonless night, and my heartbeat sounds as the warriors’ march, only then may you say, I’ve had enough coffee

– Anonymous

48. Decaf coffee only works if you throw it at people

– Anonymous

49. If I were a wizard, I’m pretty sure my Patronus would be coffee

If I were a wizard, I’m pretty sure my Patronus would be coffee

– Anonymous

50. I don’t need to drink coffee to be awesome. I’m already awesome. But it’s more fun when I’m awesome and awake.

– Anonymous

51. Sometimes you gotta drink some coffee, put on some rock n’ roll, and handle your business

– Anonymous

52. You should know that before 10am, no matter what the question is, my answer is always coffee

– Anonymous

53. I pretend coffee helps, but I’m still a bitch

bitch coffee jokes

– Anonymous

54. Coffee helps me be less Brittney-2007

– Anonymous

55. I love my Saturday coffee the way I used to love Saturday morning cartoons

– Nanea Hoffman

56. I love it when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I’m going to be today

– Anonymous

57. Patience is the time between drinking a cup of coffee and the motivation to begin your day

– Anonymous

58. With enough coffee, I can dress myself and use my grown up manners

funny coffee quotes

– Anonymous

59. Sometimes I go hours without drinking coffee…it’s called sleeping

– Anonymous

60. Life is what happens between coffee and wine

– Anonymous

61. AM- Coffee…PM- Still coffee

– Anonymous

62. May your coffee be strong, and your Monday be short

– Anonymous

63. I will start working when my coffee does

– Anonymous

64. Coffeeology: Espresso yourself. So many blends, so little time. Take life one sip at a time, and stay grounded. Better latte than never. Take time to smell the cover

– Anonymous

65. What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup

What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup

– Henry Rollins

66. Coffee is a language in itself

– Jackie Chan

67. I was taken by the power that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community

– Howard Schultz

68. Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility.

– Sheik-Abd-al-Kadir

69. Coffee is the best medicine

– Anonymous

70. Three cups of coffee a day, keeps the doctor away!

Three cups of coffee a day, keeps the doctor away!

– Unknown

71. Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death and sweet as love.

– Turkish Proverb

72. This house runs on love, laughter and a whole lot of coffee.

– Unknown

73. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. New York has great water for coffee.

– David Lynch

74. To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.

Hugh Jackman Quotes

– Hugh Jackman

75. I judge a restaurant by the bread and the coffee.

– Burt Lancaster

76. Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world.

– Thomas Jefferson

77. Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup.

– Unknown

78. Love is in the air, and it smells like coffee.

– Unknown

79. Coffee isn’t a drug it’s a vitamin.

Coffee isn’t a drug it’s a vitamin

– Unknown

80. Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.

– J.S. Bach

81. Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee

– Stephanie Piro

82. It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee.

– Donna A. Favors

83. The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce.

– Wendell Holmes Sr.

84. I’ll quit coffee. It won’t be easy drinking my Bailey’s straight, but I’ll get used to it. It’ll still be the best part of waking up.

– Megan Mullally

85. Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.

– Earl Wilson

86. Procaffeinating: The tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a cup of coffee

Procaffeinating is The tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a cup of coffee

– Unknown

87. Life happens, coffee helps

– Unknown

88. It’s strange how drinking 8 cups of water seems impossible but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw

– Unknown

89. A real prince brings coffee

– Unknown

90. When that first sip of coffee touches your soul…

– Unknown

91. Coffee helps me person, personing is hard without caffeine

– Unknown

92. I just like coffee, coffee is my favorite

– Unknown

93. Coffee; because hating your job should be done with enthusiasm

Truth about coffee quotes

– Unknown

94. Coffee, coffee! It’s our drink! If we don’t get it, we can’t think!

– Unknown

95. Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.

– Unknown

96. There is no use crying over spilled milk…spilled coffee however, may get you stabbed

no use crying over spilled milk quotes

– Unknown

97. Life without coffee is like something without something…sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet

– Unknown

98. Come here you giant cup of beautiful coffee and lie to me about how much were going to get done today

– Unknown

99. I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you

– Jac Vanek

100. Coffee is the gasoline of life

– Unknown

101. I eat salad everyday. Bean salad…Coffee bean salad…Coffee. I drink coffee everyday

– Unknown

102. I don’t need an inspirational quote, what I need is a freaking cup of coffee

– Unknown

103. Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants

– Nanea Hoffman

104. Want to hear a really dark joke?…Decaf

Decaf coffee jokes

– Unknown

105. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons

– T.S. Eliot

106. To make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, be coffee….coffee

– Unknown

107. Coffee! Because anger management is too expensive

– Unknown

108. Shhhh, don’t disturb me, I’m busy changing coffee into badassery

– Unknown

109. I don’t have enough coffee or middle fingers for today

– Unknown

110. A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it

– Unknown

111. When you make it your habit to notice small moments of beauty, you caffeinated your spirit

– Unknown

112. Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day. I’m drinking this whole pot of coffee. You better stay out of my way!

– Unknown

113. Dontcha wish your coffee was hot like me?

– Unknown

114. Shoutout to wifi, coffee and ambition

– Unknown

115. Instant Human! Just add coffee

– Unknown

116. The fact is, I don’t know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn’t collapse when you eat your head against it.

– Douglas Adams

117. Coffee, because crack isn’t accepted in the workplace

– Barista Life

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